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how are you like while you're with you're significant other's family?
shy
50%
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4%
comfortable
21%
talkative
14%
simply just stay away
4%
other/s
7%
Total votes: 28
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and when the truth come out
sigh,
Despise all the fake smiles and laughs, I am truly scared. Afraid to face life… Day after day, I read the medication label; warning might cause excessive bleeding, dizziness, nausea, and so on. Day after day, I force myself to take the medication prescribe to me.
Despise the happy thoughts; I am slowing killing myself one way or another. Slowly killing my body with pharmaceutical drugs or slowly, letting my own body kill itself. Some night, I don’t know what to do beside cry.
Despise the lies everyone tells me, “you will get better” I know I am not. Everything seems to be crushing down on me and who do I have left to turn without hurting them. How do I tell the one I love what I am going through without making them worry?
Day after day, I scared myself thinking, what if I don’t wake up the next morning, and I won’t get to see my mom face anymore. Day after day, the pains haunt me, telling me I am not normal. Day after day, I see myself get worse and worse. I can’t even look at myself without crying.
Keep fighting, their words echoes in my head, but i am defeated already. I can’t fight with my body anymore. I am tired of knowing my life is cut short. I am tired of the awful headaches and uncontrolled emotions. I am tired of knowing that this treatment will interfere with that treatment, so I will have to live with one illness. I am tired the needles and shots. I am afraid to face myself.
I HATE MYSELF, for being so weak when I should be strong. I HATE how I am cheated in life. It’s not fair at all. What have I done to deserve this? I am afraid to face life and the future. I am afraid….
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February 10, 2011 - 12:53am
#2
allah, you cant blame God. God didnt give me this. I can only blame myself. Life throw obstacle at me and i am just too weak and break down. God didnt held a gun to my head and say you must live with these illness or i will kill you. No one live a happy life. Im just going through a hard time and its my fate, that i end up with these illness. I should actually be happy that i have the pleaseure of another day.
February 10, 2011 - 12:56am
#3
allah, you cant blame God. God didnt give me this. I can only blame myself. Life throw obstacle at me and i am just too weak and break down. God didnt held a gun to my head and say you must live with these illness or i will kill you. No one live a happy life. Im just going through a hard time and its my fate, that i end up with these illness. I should actually be happy that i have the pleaseure of another day.
February 10, 2011 - 12:21am
#4
...
You only get life once, I hear.
Sometimes, I believe that, other times, I don't.
Don't hate yourself for being what it is.
It's part of what makes you YOU.
Life cheats us to make us seek out what we would otherwise not seek out.
No matter what, I hope you stay you and don't change.
February 10, 2011 - 12:59am
#5
Sigh, Karen I believe you only have one life to live.
Its hard to live when life isnt allowing you to life.
I had an emtional break down only..
But it would be nice if i can close my eyes and wih it all away
February 10, 2011 - 9:28am
#6
If you wish it away, the things that make you smile in life now, they might not be there if you close your eyes...
February 10, 2011 - 9:37am
#7
the thing that use to makes me happy is now hurting me. Ummm, you know, sometime i wish it wasnt me who has to be sick. but thats not how life is. I dont know what to do anymore. So i rather close my eyes and have one last cry and let everything fade away... than to keep holing on and constantly live in pains. I know its a selffish ting to say because i will only be hurting those who loves me, but, i really cant do it no more.
February 10, 2011 - 11:06pm
#8
It's your life, Lil Piigy,remember that.
In the end, because you're the one living it, you get to choose what you want to do with it.
Some of us won't agree, some of us will.
Ultimately, it's still your choice.
No matter what you choose, I can only say "Ok", smile, nod my head, and stand behind you.
February 10, 2011 - 12:33am
#9
Life is never fair. And at times, it can be cruel in every way.
But everyone has their obstacles, and it seems that this is yours. What tries to pull you down, don't let it succeed. You've made it this far, don't walk backwards... I know it's harder done than said, but I hope you don't lose hope os, Piigy. Maybe, just maybe the tables might turn. You never really know what life has in stall for you. Even if you don't want to hold onto false hope, live life to it's fullest os.
Behind darkened clouds, the sun still shines...
So there's no giving up, no time to stop...
Because the darkness so deep within is only here for awhile...
The sun will always shine through the hazy days and light up the world once more...
February 10, 2011 - 1:03am
#10
Judy, im not holding onto hope anymore.Its foolish of me in the first place, hoping that i will get better, hoping that its going to change. I am tired of hoping and beliving. I just need to suck it up and face the fact that this is my reality and no matter what i try, this is my fate.
February 11, 2011 - 8:42pm
#11
Piigy, a friend once told me this..
"Many, many kids don't even get a chance at life, so be appreciative of what's given to you, whether it is hard or not. Anyone can give up easily but how many can deal with the difficulties of life and live on? Be the one who's conquered all the hardships life has brought and at the end you'll be a much much stronger person who'll be able to defeat negative obstacles life brings you."
I know it's harder said then done. I doubt very much that I could even begin to imagine what you go through everyday. But as humans, we never know what tomorrow brings. Whether it brings something good or bad, we just have to learn to adjust. Whatever you choose to do, there's nothing I can do, nothing anyone can do but support you. I just hope you don't let the negative things in life bring you down. No matter how dark or horrible life may seem right now, what you think you see isn't all there is to life. Even behind darkened clouds, the sun still shines. And it'll always be shining down on you os.
You're a strong and amazing person to have gotten this far already. Even if you can't seem to see it right now, others can.
Behind darkened clouds, the sun still shines...
So there's no giving up, no time to stop...
Because the darkness so deep within is only here for awhile...
The sun will always shine through the hazy days and light up the world once more...
February 10, 2011 - 9:50am
#12
i dnt wanna be another person telling u that u should be strong, but u need to be. its all apart of life. i knoe that ur being cheated in life and that ur life is cut short compared to everyone elses.
everyone goes through hard times and the way i see it, its God's way of testing us. to see if we can be pushed to our limit and further than that. u may or may not be christian, but the bible states that u should give ur life to him and let him lead u. to surrender yourself to God, is to love Him more than yourself.
dnt give up jus yet. the fight isnt over til ur gone. keep fighting and striving for wat u want, and thats for ur life. do wat chu needa do. live life wit no regrets hun. tell the ppl how u reallie feel about them. if u love them, say it. if ur crushing on someone, tell them. if u ever need someone to jus listen to u, then kall meeh up. ill always be here for u. jus keep going in life and keep fighting..
February 13, 2011 - 8:24pm
#13
Piigy, HOPE is your friend. Don't lose hold of it. No matter how painful or at-the-end-of-the-road you might think you're at, always believe that there is that small possibility you refuse to want to acknowledge anymore. When you give up, you give up on yourself. Don't do that. I guess words are easier said since I am not in your shoes. But do keep in mind that as you hurt, allow yourself to cry...it's the only way to release pain. =) Now I don't know what you have...however I do know there will be better days than others. Hang in there.
this is a good example of ****en god and his ****en blind works! a thoughtful girl has to live through **** like this, but a healthy mother****er doesn't even give a crap about his or her life and abuse it with illegal drugs. **** god, he is blind. god should be punish.
Im allah, i only speak the truth but lies.