Today was okay. I woke up feeling as crapy as I always am, but today I was exceptionally feeling lonely. I’m not sure why. And so I sat up in bed and just was lost in thoughts and memories. And here’s what I got to:

I’m willing to bring diamonds from the blazing sun. Willing to collect the pearls of the moon’s tears. Willing to dive for the sapphires from the heart of the sea. Willing to be all yours as you are all mines. All this for you, all of me is yours if only I can get one more glimpse of you.

I miss her so much. How can I wake up every morning to what feels like an empty bed? How can I start my day without her morning smile? How can I sleep at night without her cradling in my arms? Gosh, this is so unfair. But what keeps me going is her and what she left for me. The pain reminds me to do things to its fullest and the memories reminds me to live the life she would have wanted for me. All for me, from the beginning till the end and even afterwards. Was I that blind never to realize till now or just to selfish. I loved her dearly and miss her a lot, but what does that do for me? Does that get her back to life, back to me? All the questions I’ve been looking for, I realize now, has and always had one simple answer. But that simple answer is what I have not yet discovered.