Dear Journal, 
   Sorrie for nt finishing. The bell rang n I hada go to class. Aniways, where was I?...oh yea. So when I started dating the new guy, I kept thinking about my ex. For some reason I jus couldn't let go. My ex n I had stopped talkn for about two weeks nw (this is the longest that we've ever gone without talkn to each other ever) n I didn't knoe wat to do. I jus felt so stupid so I broke up with the new guy. I tried talkn to my ex again. I txted him n he wouldn't reply bak. I kalled n he wouldn't pik up. After a couple of weeks of trying to fix the situation, I gave up. If he didn't wanna talk to me then I get it. I deserved to be punished for my mistake of moving on after we had promised each other to wait for one another. 
   Oct. 20th was his birthday. I sent him a txt saying happie birthday n dnt get wasted tonite loser. Still...no reply. *sigh* It suked so bad that he was ignoring me. I jus broke dwn that day. I regreted moving on to the new guy n I knoe that I reallie screwed up with my ex. 
   November came along n I decided to try again. I txted him n waited. To my surprise, he txt me bak. We started talkn again n after the first couple of awkward txts, everything was bak to normal. We joked around n made fun of each other like we use to. Around thanksgiving, he came to No Town to visit n hang out with me. I was hella excited n couldn't wait. If u knew me then u would knoe that my parents are hella strict n they would kill me if they knew I was hanging out with guys. So the day that he came, my sisters n I lied to my parents that we were going to the mall. Well...we didn't necessary lie...we did go to the mall but we jus didn't say who we were meeting up with. Bak to the story...my sisters n I were at the mall when he txt me n said he jus got to No Town. I was screaming like a liddo skool gurl kuz..well hello it was the guy that I'm in love with coming to hang out with me. Duh! lols I was siked about getting to hangout with him. Aniways it turned out reallie bad kuz since he didn't drive his car n he had came with his friend, he had no way of coming to hang out with me. I was pissed off kuz I had looked forward to this day for a week nw. I thought I was gonna get to spend thanksgiving with him...I guess I thought wrong . When he told me this, I didn't knoe wat to say. All I could say was "I hate you". I guess he took the wrds personally so we stopped talkn again. *sigh*...another stupid mistake. Damn...I'm so stupid! 
   Well it was nw December, n we started slowly talkn again. It was Christmas eve n my phone goes off. I got a txt frm him around 11:30. I txt him bak n apparently he was buzzed. He had five beers already. He was saying all this stuff like I miss talkn to u n hearing ur voice. I thought it was wierd kuz outta all the people on his contact list, he txted me. We txt bak n forth for a couple of hours n then he fell asleep. So I spent my christmas eve n earlie christmas morning with my ex. Aniways, He came to No Town New Years n we were gonna hang out. I got excited again (stupidest move ever!!!). First day of new years, we looked for each other but couldn't find one another. We made it a game. No telling were the other person was n no kalling each other. We didn't see each other that day..
   Second day of new years. I was at my parents booth n we jus decided to tell each other where the other person was. His group of friends n him came up to the booth so he could say hi to me. We chatted for a couple of mins n then they left. N I hada stay n watch my parents booth that day. 
   Third day of new years (worst n funniest day ever). So my group of friends/sisters/cousins were walkin around new years n I was busy txtn one of my guy friends bak. Outta no where, my older sis grabs my shoulder n pulled me bak. I was like WTF? She whispered into my ear "look behind us by the gate but dnt make it look obvious" Knoeing me, I made it look obvious. I turned around n to my surprise, there he was. He n his friends were standing up against the fence. N his arms were wrapped around this girl. *sigh* My heart broke. I faked a smile. When I had first turned around, his eyes n my eyes met. We held each others eyes for a bit then I turned n laughed. Wat else could I do? I wasn't gonna cry infront of him. I turned bak to look at them. Again, our eyes met. I turned around n walked away. As I mentioned before, I was busy still txting my friend. Well the gurl that he had his arms wrapped around was also talkn to my guy friend that I was txtn. So I asked him if they were still talkn n he said yes. He asked me why n I told him wat I saw n etc. (imma bitch I knoe...) Well my guy friend told me to go up to them n say hi n to ask her to see if she was still talkn to him to see if she denies him or nt. I told him that I didn't wanna do that kuz it wouldve felt wierd.
   Well my group that I was with headed bak to my parents booth. After a while one of my gurls said "hey isn't that ur ex? This is like the millionth time they've walked past ur booth" I turn to see me ex n his "gurl" holding hands walkn past my booth. Within a matter of ten minutes, they had walked past five times n stood in front of the booth jus hugging each other three times. I got fed up with it so I walked up to them. They were hugging each other n jus standing there. I pinched his right arm n he turned around. When he saw me, he pushed the gurl bak a liddo. I smiled n said "hey dummie butt...so wat? U can't even come by my booth n say hi to me? Siab phem luss.." He was speechless. All he could do was smile at me like how a child smiles when they knoe that they've gotten caught for doing something wrong. While he was smiling like a idiot,  I turned to his "gurl" (who he had met on HP). She was smiling at me like a dumbass, too. Ruam luss I thought to myself. So I asked her "hey ur ******* rite?" She was like yea. Then I asked her "oh, are u still talkn to ******" She paused for a bit n whispered yea... I was like "oka well the next time U kall HIM...tell him I said hi." She jus gave me this wierd look n I turned bak to my ex. He was still smiling like a dumbass he was. I told him that I hada go n for them to have fun n I walked off towards the booth.
   Later that day, my group of gurls n I were walkn around. As we were walkn, one of my gurls grabbed me n was like "hey u knoe u jus bumped into him?" I was like "umm whose him??" Another one of my gurls was like "OMG u shouldve seen her face!" Apparently, when we were walkn in a crowded area, my ex n I had walked past each other n our arms had hit/bumped into each other. Well, I guess he thought I did it on purpose n turned bak to look at me. His "gurl" saw him turn bak n stare at me as I walked away n she got mad. She pulled hard on his arm (they were holding hands) n gave him a dirty look. She started to yell at him about how he was checking me out or watever (btw...she was on the phone with a different guy at the same time while bitchn at him). I jus laughed. He deserves wat he gets I guess... 
   He txted me later that day n I didn't reply bak. I felt stupid for thinking that he n I actually had another chance. He was jus playing me for a fool. I had my limit n decided to let him go. If he rather spend his time with his arms wrapped around her then with me, then she was obviously more important to him than I was. I jus told myself that even though I was still in love with this asshole, all I reallie want was for him to be happie. N I figured that since he seems happie with her then I'll let them be. I stopped talkn to him all the while he was still txtn me. I ignored his txts kuz I wasn't going to put myself into that situation again. He likes her so watever. I had to let him go n that was that.
   The next day, I decided to stay hme bc I didn't feel like going to new years. It's nw the fifth day of new years n I decided to go. When I got to my parents booth, my parents staff that was there told me that my stalker guy kept walkn past our booth yesterday n it seemed like he was looking for me. I was so confused until one of them explained to me that it was the same guy that had came up three days ago to say hi to me at the booth. That's when it hit me that they were referring to my ex. I couldn't stop laughing kuz I was like "WTF? Why was he walkn past my booth for?" Frm wat my parents staff, cousins, bro, n guy friend told me...my ex n his "gurl" kept walkn past my booth all day the day before. (I dnt knoe wat this means so advice anione???)
   February came along. A day before my birthday, they became official. He txt me the day after my birthday with their special date on it. My heart broke a liddo more. Iono why I can't get over him even though all of this **** has happened. Am I reallie that slow n stupid? How can I still have feelings for a guy who has made me go through all this crap? Ughh...it hurts so much even thinking about it...
OKA WELL IM STARTING TO GET EMOTIONAL N IM AT SKOOL SO ILL FINISH LATER....