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Minnesota
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If I joke, and you are disgusted, go fuuck yourself please. Who gives a shiit about your feelings. 
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how are you like while you're with you're significant other's family?
shy
36%
dislike them
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comfortable
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talkative
29%
simply just stay away
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Total votes: 14
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I am officially suicidal.
That's correct. I may be a stranger to you all, but my story may be of
relations to some.|
I come from a family of many. I live in Minnesota, and I'm still a upperclassmen at a high school. I'm currently dating a man, whom claims to "love me" with all his souls and heart. For the past six months, we have only been arguing nonstop. I'm a very optimistic and playful person, so I'm very positive that's whats been keeping us strong.
Anyways, today I have recently had a conversation with him on the phone. All he could do was ignore me and create multiple excuses to not have to listen to anything I had to say. For months, I have kept in anger, sadness, grief, sorrow, and happiness. I could never express anything to anyone, not even my own boyfriend.
All I can ever do is open the last half of my history notebook and write it in, to express my thoughts about my stressful days, or collect tears that meant nothing to him, not even sadness.
I'm on the verge of deciding whether I'd appear on the news as the girl who's suicided or not. I have no idea.
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January 10, 2010 - 8:19pm
#2
I can't cheat, that's not right. It's hard to break it off, trust me.
January 11, 2010 - 6:18pm
#3
im not telling u to cheat. im talking about just a simple date out with someone. keep your options open. your boy has it coming when he doesnt respect nor appreciate your love. thats y u find a second bf, like me
sometimes u have to be selfish and seek for your own happiness first b4 u may give happiness to others. its a matter of finding peace and happiness within oneself.
remember that everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. u can dwell on doing whats morally right, but if the other person doesnt care to see, is it really doing YOU any right? think about it.
maybe u need to make him jealous to see if he really cares for u and want to work things out...ur being honest and faithful, but he doesnt care. so whats lef to lose? in the meantime ur just lingering around...is it really worth feeling like crap just waiting for some sort of response?
January 11, 2010 - 9:08pm
#4
A friend's hangout. The problem is, I can't get away from him. He's
always watching me. Always has a way to find out about my whereabouts.
January 12, 2010 - 10:54am
#5
from your comments...hes worth being lied to...it may not make u feel too good being dishonest. but really, are u actually doing something soo wrong?? as long as ur intentions are good within yourself then he shuldnt have a say in it. trust in yourself and dont let others rule your life. some lies are good, especially wen ur trying to get away from a psycho maniac 
its not like ur f*cking with him. hes the one f*cking with u. hes not worthy of love, respect, admiration, and honesty. he doesnt know how to absorb the things u give him with positivity. sounds like he doesnt appreciate any of it. let him go. juz ignore all his shizz. ur better off being single
"sleeping with a stranger" -movie
January 10, 2010 - 8:23pm
#6
:/ What did I tell you last time?
>.< Stop thinking about killing yourself os.
It won't solve anything.
Be strong and smile. =] liiFe
January 11, 2010 - 9:09pm
#7
I do, do that. I smile through my
own jokes, that I tell. It's the
least I can do, to not bother my
friends around me.
January 10, 2010 - 9:07pm
#8
wow this is some serious stuff, so you are going to kill yorself for what? because he decided to break away from you? left you drown in your own tears and wont save you? tell you what honey, you love and you learn so you wont fall for the same trap again. all guys lie, i did lies and even put it on my mom just to by pass ****sss. but suicide is not the answer, think of your parents. how much they love you, NO MAN is worth dying for. only your parents or family members are worth dying for. family comes first, educated yourself for trusted some worthless dirtbag so you wont fall for the same type of axxxhoe again.
whenever you think of death, please put your family up front first. how are they gonna live without you? HP is a nice place to chill and you can find lots of friendly users here too.
January 11, 2010 - 9:11pm
#9
I do think of my families. I love them a lot, even though I think
I hate them, but I really love them. They're whats holding me up.
:] I'm just blind, half dead, souless atm.
January 11, 2010 - 1:02am
#10
do you really think it's worth dying for someone that cause you stress and pain???he might feel sorry for a couple days then after that,,you'll just become part of his memories and hopefully you understand that memories do fade in time.
January 11, 2010 - 9:12pm
#11
No matter what, he would never reach out to me. I give him up..
January 11, 2010 - 1:31am
#12
think of those around you. you will cause alot of hurt for your families and friends. i had a friend who killed herself over some guy, and this happened when we were in high school and it was just so sad. a family was torn apart-- the guy moved on with his life and married another girl. and then life went on afterward...but shes dead...
January 11, 2010 - 9:13pm
#13
That's why I'm still here. :] weak smiles cost a lot, but I'm trying ..
January 11, 2010 - 7:05am
#14
Why don't you just end it with the guy and get it over with? I've been in your shoes, but I stuck the relationship out longer and it got me no where. If he's going to cry and be a butt about it, don't let it get to you. He'll fall into his guilt trip and make you feel bad. Just leave him and move on with life. He's not worth for you to dread on. Live your life for you and not for others. It's not the end. Let him go so he can grow on his own because there is nothing you can do for him except for himself. Work on you and not him. Stay strong!
January 11, 2010 - 9:15pm
#15
Thanks ..
January 11, 2010 - 9:45am
#16
Yellow Ribbon.
Don't do it. You really don't know whose day you make when you smile or when you talk to them. Life has its ups and downs, that is true. But remember that you will have to go down before you go up. The further down you go, the better the climb back up.
Some of us have been in your shoes. Some of them has made the best of it. Take the memories you've made with you, and take them thru your life and those that you come across. You will help someone out too with your experience. And they will help someone else. It's a chain reaction. But it can go the other way too.
Please think carefully when it comes to taking your life.
January 11, 2010 - 9:15pm
#17
I'm trying ..
January 11, 2010 - 9:54am
#18
stop putting effort in it... DO NOT KILL URSELF!!! if this relationship is really a nonstop aregument then forget it and let him know... well dnt take my advice I'm just suggesting sum thing that u should do, but it's just my opinion tell him about how u feel stop keeping it in... u do no that it's not healthy to leave stress inside rite? well if he doesn't listen then if I were u I'd say f u k it but that's just me. by the way I fum mn too there are A LOT of others around to treat u rite trust me just take ur tyme... 
January 11, 2010 - 10:46am
#19
I love you, SexNerd, really, I really do love you with all my heart.
Your kidding right. I love you can fly out of anyone mouth a hundred times and mean nothing. There's no point to stress. If all you do is argue doesn't that mean your relation is over. If you really are thinking about dieing that only means your a coward and that your weak. Dying is the easy way out.
I lost someone close to me. I promised myself never to talk about it again. But I will because of you. I centered by life around this person. In the past I really thought I could die for her. And now that she's dead, I decide to live. I want to live strong for both of us. I'm sure there's a better guy out there for you. And if there's not, you still have me. I might not know you and I don't mean I'll love you or anything, but I'm here. And I'm sure Hp is behind me on this one. Hp is a family of Hmong people who try to look out for each other. If you want to blog something that's on your mind even if it's dumb or doesn't make sense I promise to give you my full attention.
January 11, 2010 - 8:39pm
#20
*sighs.
I know. I'm very proud of the knowledge I've gained. I used to think and say the same things everyone has said to me, in the past to someone else. I was there, I tried to motivate a stranger from death. I was there, to think people were wasting life away. But this man, every time we're close physically, I tell myself, "Hey, I hate this man. I hate him so much, I want him to suffer." I have my gutfeelings to trust on this situation, but I just need a little help. I have a girlfriend, who will offer to help me physically, and that is to just take out my things from his room while he's away. That's the best solution. The only way he said, for me to really dump him, is to take out all my things.
Scene # however many fights there were, I walked to his house with my dog. It's like an hour walk for me, because I sometimes limp because of a glass infection in my foot three years ago. He waited for his mom to leave, then started yelling at me. He even forced himself on me, leaving me a hickey, just so guys wouldn't dare talk to me, IN CASE I CHEATED ON HIM. He locked my puppy up in their garage and wouldn't let me see him. I grabbed all the blankets I gave him, to leave (the only way he'd let me leave). He instead pulls me back instead roughly. Overall, at the end, I just pretend to give up and be nice and say sorry.
I try not to be weak. That's how many would see me, but I'm strong enough to stay alive. I'm not trying to die, because I'm a wuss, running away from life. Yes thats a possibility, but the number one reason I am sad, is because I'm ashamed. I've ruined my education record, sadden my parents, shamed my eldest brother who takes care of me greatly, given up on my friends. Only reason I'm living is because of my neices. My very first neice, tells me I'm her very favorite aunt. I cry, every day for months now, because of that one simple line, by a six year old.
January 11, 2010 - 9:18pm
#21
I don't mind knowing your situation too .. it'll get the invisible spotlight around me off for a change .. : )
January 11, 2010 - 10:55am
#22
yoo got to listen to yang25 mann! he been through alot of hardshiiit. he can tell the differ from hell and heaven.
January 11, 2010 - 11:03am
#23
lol STFU you really are a changed man. You a poser? just kidding. Thanks bro for your support in my other blogs. I wouldn't go that far a bunch of people go through what I have. Some have it harder than I do. I'm just a guy among billions on earth, but I'm also only one guy among a few on Hp. I just hope we all could lend each other a shoulder when others are weak.
January 11, 2010 - 4:26pm
#24
Recently I thought about death.. It wasn't the first time and perhaps it prolly won't be the last... When we feel hopeless, we think ending our life is the answer, but it's not. This is what you do, live another day.. And if that day doesn't get better, live another one.. Keep doing that until that dark cloud lift over your head.. You'll see the sun's there all along...
If you're unhappy about your relationship, point it out to your bf. Or do what I do, give an ultimatum.. If that doesn't catch his attention, time to move on... You'll see there's plenty of guys out there willing to show you how much you're worth. - Sara
January 11, 2010 - 9:19pm
#25
Thanks for the personal relation.
January 11, 2010 - 4:49pm
#26
don't kill yourself...give your soulmate a chance to find you...
January 11, 2010 - 7:50pm
#27
killing yourself is the stupidest shiit ever. life is too precious.
May 27, 2010 - 12:40pm
#28
Take this experience as a lesson and grow from it. Like many have said, no man or boy is worth your life!
Stay position and don't think too much about it. Ok?
If it helps, read that one book. It's called "Angry Little Asian Girl" (something like that!)
Take care!
no man is worth dying for. heres wat u do..juz go date other guys and see how that life suits you. sometimes letting go of something is best when its only causing you stress and confusion. date others and youll know if that guy is worth keeping. see how others will treat u.