Ok, I'm not really on a strike. I just wanted to write that because I couldn't think of anything.

Any who, I went to my microeconomics class, but skipped my accoutning class so right now I am sitting in the computer lab, and blogging on here. I don't feel like being at school today. I haven't been myself since this morning. I didn't sleep very well. Kept tossing and turning in bed. Woke up every now and then. My SOS texted and called me this morning to wake me up to get ready for school. I did not want to wake up at all. He kept trying to wake me up, but I just wouldn't get up. I was being a brat to him. I know he'll come in here and read this and get at me for not going to class like I'm suppose to be. I woke up with a lot of things on my mind. I thought that taking an early shower would calm me down, but it didn't go too well. I got out of the shower, got dress, got my books ready, and left for school. I didn't even say bye to my mom or tell her that I was leaving for school like I usually do if I see her before I leave.

Blah, I can't even think right at the moment. I don't even know what's running through my mind. All I know is that it hurts and my thoughts just keeps jumping around. Last night I was asked, "Does my love not mean anything to you?", "Do you think that our relationship is a joke to you?", "Do you not love me at all?" All of these questions repeats itself in my head over and over again, but then other thoughts will come running through, trying to avoid those questions. He asked me, but I never gave him answers. Why didn't I answer him? Because I felt like I didn't need to. Some of you who may be reading this may think that I am a jerk for not giving him answers, but think what you want.

My reasons for not answering him was because those questions were out of proportion. I am not a person to be with someone because I think their love is meaningless. I'm not a person to be with someone because I think that the relationship is a joke. I'm not the type of person to be with someone because I don't love them. I've been through too much BS to even think about using someone for my own comfort. I know how it feels to be used and I'm not the type to stoop that low. Sure, I may be stubborn, and not open myself enough to others. But there's a reason why I am like that. It's not that I don't want to open up. People just make it hard for me to open up because they don't listen and understand me. They make assumptions and assume that they know what my feelings are and what I am thinking. They take my words and interpret it into something that I did not mean at all. If those interpretations that they make was true, I wouldn't have a problem telling them straight out, but I let it be because they don't listen and won't let me explain.

When I was asked those questions, I felt like a liar because he made it seem like he didn't trust me. After all the times I've reassured him and told him that he's the one I want to be with, he still asks me those questions. It makes me wonder how well does he know me and how well does he understand me? *sigh* Oh well...