I remember the day you left me. I remember the look in your face and the fake smile you had on. The image of you standing in front of me trying to hold back your tears while a waterfall streamed down my face burns vividly in my mind. It was 5 in the morning and I called to see if you were up and packing your things. I wanted to come see you at the airport and watch as you depart into a world unknown. You told me that you were still talking to your mom and will call me back. I waited until 6 am and you still didn’t call. 6:30 am rolled around and I knew I needed to call because your flight was leaving at 7am. The phone rang, but you didn’t pick up. I called once again and still no answer. My heart sank to ground. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t pick up. So many questions ran through my mind. Why is he not answering? Did something happen to him? Is he mad? Did he leave his phone? Where is he? I couldn’t figure the answer to these questions...... Tears started to fall from my eyes uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to. Finally, you texted me and said you were at the airport already. I asked if I could come see you off. Once again, you didn’t answer. After a moment of hesitation, you replied back saying that I can come if I wanted to. I was confused by the way you were acting. Your hesitation and indecisive replies puzzled me. They didn’t matter anymore though. I jumped out from my bed, put on my gray jacket and literally ran to my car so I can make it to the airport before you leave. I must have been speeding for I made it to the airport right in time. It was exactly 7 am and you were already in line waiting to be checked in. I ran into the airport, but as I got closer to you, I slowed my pace. As I stood in front of you, I didn’t know what to say nor do. I hated the fact that as much as I told myself not to cry, my tears could not help themselves. My heart was hurting and my soul was aching. One of the sweetest and wonderful people I have ever met was leaving me. I wanted to stop it from happening. I wanted to be selfish and lock you up so you could stay. But I knew better. I knew that you had to leave to better yourself and your future. If you would have stay, you would have lost yourself.

As I looked up at you and you gestured for me to come. Slowly with my head slightly hung down, I motioned myself toward you. Once I reached you, you hugged me. This gesture made me cry even more. You held me for what felt like an eternity. When I let go of your embrace, I looked into your eyes and saw that tears were forming in the corners of your eyes. You wiped the tears away from my eyes and smiled at me. Without thinking, I tipped-toed (since you were so tall) and kissed you. People were staring at us, but it didn’t matter. The surroundings, the noises, even the world itself, didn’t seem to exist at that moment. This feeling of seclusion from the world was in-describable. All I saw was just you and I. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long for it was interrupted by the voice of a flight attendant calling for all final passengers to board the plane. With that said, I stepped away from you and watched as you wait for your turn to be checked in. Once you were screened by the security and your carry-on was scanned, you made your way to the terminal. You turned, looked back at me and smile that handsome smile of yours once more. With that, you made your way to the plane and out of my life.

As I drove home, I realized why you were acting so peculiar. You didn’t want me to see you go. You didn’t want to see me cry. I remember you telling me that you hated seeing tears in my eyes. I thought about it and understood why you did what you did. I understood that it was as hard for you as it was for me. Come to think of it, it was harder on you. You always did everything that I asked of you. You did things that always brought a smile to my face. Knowing that you leaving was going to bring agonizing heartache to me, you rather not have me there. You didn’t want to witness me breaking down and know that you were the cause of it.

Although you and I never had the chance to be together, we had the chance to become an important person in each other’s lives. You made a big impact in my life and I would like to believe the same goes for you. Every moment that you and I spent together still lives vividly in my heart. The image of you pouting and complaining while I paint your humongous fingernails makes me giggle inside. The thought of you giving me a piggy back ride just because I asked brings upon a smile. It warms my heart thinking about how you brought cough drops and medication to me because I was sick. Your kind gesture of wrapping me in a warm blanket during the cold winter nights just makes me miss you more. The late night movie watching hangouts at your house will forever be cherished by me.

We both have moved on with our lives, but today, the sadness of you not being here seems to strike me deeply. I guess it is because today marks one whole year since I last seen you. Today marks the day that you decided to leave everything behind and start new. There are times when I get the urge to call and see how you are doing. I get this feeling of wanting to hear your voice and laughter. Sometimes, I wonder if you even miss me and wonder how I am doing myself. People tell me that you do, but I will never know truly unless it comes from you, yourself. I doubt that you will tell me yourself though. It’s better that you don’t. It’s better that you continue to live your life as you do now and I continue with mine. We both moved on and we shouldn’t dwell on the past, but tonight, I just can’t seem to help it. I miss you dearly….