Tattoos. Pictures included.

lmao. wow. u lasted two days xwb? gayluss. i cant believe i actually fell for u. gawd.. im hella stupid. oh wells, like i said, im the one whose always heartbroken in the end. haha imma retard. aniways, u cheated so good for u. nice to knoe that ur not different frm the rest of the guys. haha. u proved to meeh that ur jus another typical guy. lol. this suks but wat can i do.. *sigh* iono why im even sad. lol. gawd, imma start drinkn so i can forget ****. i already have lots of alcoholic guy friends so mine as well join them. nw i understand why they drink so much. haha. aniways, bak to chat.

Thanks, for always being there.. NOT.

I never got along with Hmong people in the first place anyway.
Why bother coming here anymore?

The end.

As I promise Houa, I'm going to write a love blog to her. LOL here goes nothing hahaha.

To my lovely HP love Houa Lor,
Take my hand and together we'll soar.
To the sky we go and leave HP behind,
Because girl you're one of a kind.
Although you don't chat with me anymore,
You're still someone I adore.

Wow . . . it's a love poem hahaha. Sometime short but sweet. Oh and for those who are wondering do I actually swing that way, NO! It's called HP love.

We assume the worst of each other.
But in the time spend learning.
Slow discoveries were made.
Attractions slowly occurred.
Looks. Personality. Status. Standards.
At first, interesting and amusing.
He reads my mind and soul.
He seems so right.
At the same time, so wrong.
What is there that he is hiding?
What is there that I am hiding?
Am I being toyed?
Am I just another bump in the road?
Am I just another piece of ass?
Sometimes, I don't even know love.
Have I ever been loved?
If I did, how?
And would this man really love me?
If he does, what are the signs?

Realize - Colbie Caillat

I only recorded the first verse to first chorus, so it's not a full cover. I forgot the rest of the lyrics to the damn song. I messed up a few times, but hey, I'm not a pro. I've only played guitar since FEB of this year.

Hope you all enjoy.

P.S. No rude comments please. Or just don't comment at all.

I never knew there were so many porn sites available. I print screened what we typed in HP Chat. Just to save it for future use. It was mostly porn sites of Ghost and Luke's Scandal. Tsk tsk, no good.

Hey NC ppl! I heard that hurricane Earl is hitting u guys pretty hard. well hope it passes n everything is fine for u all. But then again, why am I writing this? I heard that y'all are outta electricity so u prolly wouldn't be able to read this. Hahah. Aniways, I think imma be writing random blogs today bc I feel crappy. Or imma jus be on myspace/fb being emo. Lols. Either way, hope y'all ppl in NC are safe n come back to HP soon. 

I wish to disappear
To be somewhere so peaceful and clear
I want to stand near an ocean
Feel the cool breeze on my face and watch the waves move in motion.

Its sad how I would read love stories in here and how sad everyone is hoping to never having to write one, yet I write one myself. I can't seem to finish my story anymore. Tears flow and my heartaches. His memories drown my soul.

BEFORE MARRIAGE

Boy-At last, I can hardly wait!
Girl-Do you want me to leave?
Boy-NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl-Do you love me?
Boy-Of course! Always.
Girl-Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy-NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl-Will you kiss me?
Boy-Every chance I get!
Girl-Will you hit me?
Boy-Hell no! Are you crazy?
Girl-Can I trust you?
Boy-Yes!
Girl-Darling!!

AFTER MARRIAGE

READ FROM THE BOTTOM
BACK TO THE TOP

How do I fight this?

So one day ago i had a convo with my mom about relationship and marriage and i got to say, i did not expect my mom to say the thing she say. Gosh i love her.

so here is our whole convo. I dont remember the exact word but close to it. oh sorry i cant write hmong. its bad, so its english.

Me: Mom, I am prego with a black guy baby
Mom: WHAT! you has sex!
Me: Mom, I say I am prego with a black guy baby. which mean i had sex.
Mom: HAHAHAHA, very funny. Let me see the guy.
Me: Haha, hey I was being serious.
Mom: haha, please i raise you for 18 year! i know you pretty well.

HEY, I KNOE THAT IVE BEEN A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS THESE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS. IM SRY OKA? I KNOE THAT I ACT CHILDISH AT TIMES N IT SEEMS LIKE I DNT CARE, BUT I DO. I REALLIE LIKE U N I DNT WANNA ARGUE WIT U OR LOSE U.

ABOUT THE WHOLE "MAKING U JEALOUS" STUFF, I DIDNT EVEN KNOE I WAS DOING THAT. I WAS JUS JOKING AROUND BUT I GUESS U SAW IT DIFFERENTLY. *SIGH* IONO..

I JUS WANNA SAY THAT IM SRY FOR EVERYTHING. OKA..BYE..

I got a text from somebody earlier today. It's about how guys and girls flirt. I don't know if there are any truths to it. But I'll make the list and you guys tell me if it's right or wrong, or which part is right or wrong.

What goes on in my head makes me crazy. It tells me things I already know, but I'm too afraid to admit to them; therefore, I cry. Anyways, I'm sick and tire of this and of you; there's really no need to mention names because you know exactly who you are.

Dearest Friend...

I'm sitting here tonight, and I'm going through my memories. I've met someone who reminds me of you. He's just the sweet and kind dork you are..=] When I talk to him, I remember the silly you who always put a smile on my face.

I truly miss you. And I miss your other half too..two beautiful people who taught me so much about life.. When I think about it all, the memories bring a smile to my face and warms my heart. But with it comes the stinging tears that I'm unable to hold back. I miss you both so much..

I love my internet boyfriends oh-so-much, so I made them fan signs. I hope they all like it.

This is my first time experience with making a youtube slide show music video and I already messed up at one part. But it all still flows smoothly so here I am, here to share with you this video that I made. Hope you all enjoy!

I know I shouldn't say this either but...

...I miss you.

Maui abounds in many beautiful locations. The picturesque places accompanied by existence of flora and fauna create the most romantic setting for organizing Maui wedding. There are different places where wedding is carried out in Maui such as tropical garden, churches, temples, waterfall, garden, beach and private estates. A beach wedding is most popular of all weddings.

Tonight just too much for me....but I had fun hehehe all ur sad blog make me wanna cry..... waaaaee waaeee
Kuv sad sad lus waaaeeee waaaeeee

Why must you both hurt each other?
Why must you both shout and scream until you awaken the neighbour.
Every night I'd sit here embracing myself, knowing what's going to happen
knowing that the fights are coming as the night sky darkens.
I sit in my room, I can hear every single word, every shout..
No matter how hard I try to hold these tears in they slowly creep out.
I place my hands on my ears, trying not to hear
Keep telling myself that there is nothing to fear.
I miss those days, the much happier days
Where you both would smile at us kids and assure us everything was okay.

Mother.
When you had that miscarriage.
I wish that could have been me.
Why must I be born.
Why must I be a burden to this family.
I must disappoint you and father.
I must hurt you two very much.
I must hurt everyone close to me.
I was always different.
I was always weird.
I was the black sheep of the family.
No matter how hard I try to understand.
No matter how hard I try to make everyone around me happy.
I can never do that.
I have always been a disappointment.
Can not meet up to anyone's standard.
This is why I lock myself away.
Away from the rest of the world.

I got into the shower.
I turned on the water.
I let the water run down my body.
From my head and down to my toes.
I washed my hair.
Wash all that dirt from today.
But before I washed my body.
I cried.
I cried my tears away with the water.
I cried my heart out.
Yet.
It does not feel any better.
I got down on my knees.
Closed my eyes.
Kept the water on me.
Why must it be this way?
Questioning myself.
So many unanswered question.
Why me?
Sometimes I wonder.
Why?
What did I do wrong?
My body feels so weak.
My heart heavy.
My shoulder burning.
My head bottled.

Yes i've been ignoring you..
to know if i can forget you..
to know if i can move on without you..
to know if i can detach from you..
to know how real my love is for you..
to know if i will still miss you..
to know if i will think of you..
to know how it will feel like if im out on a date..
and if i would be wondering what you would b doing right now..
to know if i can go have fun and not talk about you..
to know if my heart can leave you...
to know if i return we can still be just friends
to know if these feelings are real..
to know whats right for me

Anyways..... I Just got Out From The Big H well thats what i call it...& yes, its one of those "EMO" "LOVE" Blogs. dont like. it dont read it. its not for your entertainment anyways,

My heart misses him but I know that I should not. It's only a matter of time until I forget about him. Eventually time will pass by and new things will come upon me.

All I know is that I like him too much to forget about him right now. Why is it that you always miss and like the person that never really cares about you. & when someone cares for you, you never reciprocate? Why does it have to be so difficult? It makes me feel as if I'm a bad person. I only want to love someone who loves me back. And there has to be some kind of attraction between the two of us.