The most annoying person in this world is my bro....he's the pain in my ass....
so frustrated...idiot, jackass, stupid,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but sometimes I do adore him, cuz he's my lilo bro...
TELLMeABoutYours

Dear Journal, 

I'm beat! phew! My head is saying, "Go to sleep you dumb idiot!" But my body is saying, "OOHH Kathy, There's soooo many things that happen at night!" Ahaha...Oh darn.. Hold on. Switch those two around!!! XD LOL See what happened? Exactly! Anywho, I think i'm getting sick???? HOPEFULLY I get sick! That'll be awesome. It's funny how people don't like being sick. IDK why but to me, I LOVE getting sick. It's the best day of my life! Why you may ask? Well my friend, it's because I don't get sick. And when I do. It stays for a day only then it's gone.

Last night..I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I haven't heard those kind of words from her for the longest time. I felt revived. When I read her words, it was a life saver, a gentle touch in my heart that brought me back to reality. I know how we both feel. I know that right now, everything has fallen apart.

Yes it's true, sometimes, "Love is like broken glass. Sometimes it's easier to leave it alone, than to hurt yourself trying to fix it."

Hello, Bloggers. He’s sitting here thinking about something to blog about, but it seems like there are not anything to actually put some thoughts or time towards it. In this case, there are not anything for him to blabber about so, he'll just have to talk to himself.

-Talking to himself.-

Hi, I’m a human being. And you are?
What do you think I am?
Oh, okay. I apologize.

Dear journal,
   Oka so let's see..I haven't writen one of these in forever. Nw where should I start. Mmm...let's go bak a couple of months.....

Well, I really like him as I said...calling him my pops. I think he trying to give me hints...I know he is. Hinting me that its nothing more. I try to stop myself, but it is like a magnet. Alluring you in. I feel like I just have to hit myself hard in the head. "Not gonna happen." "Dream on." "Be more real." Those words slowly sink into my head. I have to cry it out. I was camming with him at the moment and I just quickly turn off my cam. Why am I stupid to even feel for this guy. He is just like anyone else. I need to build my wall stronger. I don't want to love anymore.

Some of my girls and me had gone out yesterday to celebrate for one of my girl's bday. We took her to this one strip bar called Miyabi and it was her first time. We had such a crazy, and wild night.

Today is hella windy. I do not know how it is like there, but sucks here. It isn't bad, but it is just over windy. I am just at the computer lab in the library and gosh came on here just to blog because I have nothing else to do until like OMGosh 2:20 and right now it is only 12:40 in the afternoon. Well, let me share with everyone. Some of you may know him or may not know him, but once I have came to known him...he is pretty cool. Different guy if you have read my other blogs. I know I jump quick.

Can’t say I didn’t try, because I did. Dating is not working out. It’s not that it wasn’t fun, just that things don’t click. Maybe I should give it more time then rather judge them after only a couple of dates. But then I wouldn’t consider it a date more like a night out with a stranger. We talked about stuff family, career, and past ex’s was mentioned a couple of times. I just didn’t feel it, anything, nothing. I’m not basing this on one date; I’m basing this on a number of dates with different girls.

OOO, it's been four days since i've been staying up soo late D: I have to say it sucks balls! Dx. let's see I've tried sleeping pills, that didn't help at all. I try doing jumping jacks and what not, but nope. All failures. I'm hoping that i get my sleeping routine back that'll be the day huh?? ahah. IDK how to work this blog thing. IT's my first blog and i'm hoping that i am doing this right. If not then I apologize. Phew, two more weeks and then off to Wisconsin Dells

Ok, here's the problem. People said that Hmong Her gurlos are the meaniest gurlos out there because they just want to torture guys and so they asked me, what about me? Am I mean? I told them that i love guys so much to the point that i have to rejected them so that they won't get hurt. Lols, what do you think people?

Dear Blog,
Here’s something that someone has requested for. I know it’s not the best, but at least I’m putting effort towards it. A specially dedication to that someone.

**********

I like you because…….

-Your amazing name.
-Your slowness.
-Your clueless mind.
-Your randomness.
-Your giggles.
-Your laugh.
-Your words.
-Your kindness.
-Your patient-ness.
-Your kisses.
-Your care-ness.
-Your hugs.
-Your Hmong-lish.
-Your late night talk.
-Your voice speaking through my ears. ( An Angel singing to me. )

I want you to be a stranger
So I could meet you again
I would say 'you look gorgeous'
I would ask your name
I would smile
You would smile back
I would ask you to dance
And we would dance to the music
I would offer you a drink
And we would be drunk together
You would walk me home
And you would kiss me
I would ask you to come in
And you wouldn't doubt a minute
I would walk to my room whit you
We could get naked and sleep together

I want you to be a stranger
So we could meet again
And fall in love with you
I would say I saw in your eyes you were perfect

The problem with poets is we like to sound more interesting than we are.
The poet goes to therapy and says she has been skinning herself alive.
How interesting!
How probable and dark!
The poet writes long letters to the therapist in which she says her skills are in high demand, such as tilting men, finger to head, toppling them over.
Poets like to take it too far, disease themselves.
No one is ever truly that lonely, the therapist tells her.
The poet writes a list of possibilities: tomb herself into the house like a pharoah, disappear.

I was driving on the freeway today. As I'm looking around me, I wondered does others have the same heartache as me. The breeze today was a chill in the bone, but I managed to keep myself warm. I was walking on the Riverside Bridge reminiscing, hurting myself repeatly over you. That had become a habit for me. It's a pleasant feeling when I reminisce about you; it brings a smile onto my face. The cast of you have hovered over me for so long. I wish you could be here, caress my body with your warmth embrace, and kiss me with the most breathtaking touch. Heaven knows I miss you so much.

The night before San Fran wasn't good. LoL. I was tossing and turning in bed for two hours, just coughing. LoL. Damn cough. So when I did fall asleep...it was just the hour right before I was supposed to get up. Haha. And we didn't leave in time...but it wasn't too late after that that we left...so it was ok.

I remember answering that question several times in my younger years.

I guess I am bored and just wanna do another blog journaling.

Well dang I stayed late up.
Cam chatting away with someone I call daddy (not my father sickos LOL).
It was kind of boring, but he is cute. LOL.
Dang, he wanted me to go cam chatting with him on
http://tinychat.com/hmongpridevip
So I tried it. I think it is pretty nice.
Especially getting to see how people look like.

Well, I slept for a long while.
Did not wake up til one in the afternoon or evening.
Whatever and however you wanna say it. LOL.

Well, now I am here blogging. Boring!

I don't know if this goes for the other fellas too, but I've had a few relationships where when we're breaking up, the girl would say "You'll never find a girl like me."

Well, I still wonder what's that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to make me have second thoughts? Feel guilty?

I mean obviously I'll never find a girl like you. Because no two persons are alike in all ways. I really wish I could get into the mind of a woman.

I mean now a days when I think back to my Xs. No two are alike. But here's my thoughts on the girls I've dated in the past.

There's a thin line between being "immature" and "a kid at heart"

I am a kid at heart. And I know that because I know when to be a kid and when to be the adult that I am. A lot of people guess that I am the way I am because I never got to be a kid. That is partially true.

The real reason is I like to make people feel happy. I'm no comedian. I'm not the funniest guy on the face of Earth, but I'm the 24 year old guy that you can just be yourself around. I will do anything to make you smile. Even if it includes making fun of myself, I won't mind as long as I get to see you smile.

Those who follow up on my blogs probably notice I don't write much about situations on parents and their children. Those who know me better know why. I haven't really experienced how it is to have parents. For only 10 years have I been through it and it past like the wind blowing by the trees.

I went out to breakfast with a friend today. He and I have been friends since middle school. I remember the first time I met him. He and I were at a cousin's house for dinner and we had to work together and carry meat inside the house.

Until today we still help each other do everything. Cars, sink, washers, he'd be the first I call and I'd be the first he calls.

We sat in Denny's and talked about life. We sat next to the window where the beautiful scenery faced us. The sun shined and the hills looked like they were about to touch the puffy clouds.

"Three years of love and all i heard was.. one day i will marry you.. one day i will make you my wife.. one day we will be together.. one day just one day it will all happen for us.. three long years and thats all i've heard from him.. as each year pass.. i get the same excuse.. or the same reasoning.. it worries me that maybe their is something wrong with me.. or maybe im just not for him.. or it just doesnt seem right.. but really its just because his father cant see me being with him.. and he will do everything in his power to make me suffer.."

Finally, the time I've been waiting for has arrive! To be love and melt away with your touch. I love you...

It's getting late and I'm still up wondering why in tears. After almost a year of friendship; plus two years two months and nine days of relationship and it all end tonight. Just because of your mother doesn't see us together and tomorrow you're arranged to meet a new guy family that your mother wants you to over me. How could this be? I thought we had plans together for the future and forever more. Yet we can only plan but will not know what will happen. It's only me and you that only know how we feel for each other and moment we spent. I'm so losted and confused.

sit and cry like a big fat crybaby.
a thousand tears won't bring you back.
a thousand words won't mean anything.
happiness, seems to be so hard to keep.
have a great night all! <3

This is a true ghost story of mine. If you are too scared, then you shouldn't even open this blog. This is only to give you a warning before clicking on this blog. I promised Rok that I would share my ghost stories, so here I am writing one out to him. There are many more if you readers want to read more. Thank you and I hope I don't scare any of you off.

March 5, 2010 [Remember to click PLAY below]

Well, I'm feeling a bit blah today. Not happy. Not sad. Not angry. Just.. blank I guess. Well I woke up at about
around 6 am. I blanked and stared at the wall. My eyelids felt heavy. I knew I didn't get enough sleep. But
oh well. I sighed as I looked at my bedside. I closed my eyes...and I thought of the words you have said to me.
I don't know how a son of a b*tch hurts like, but I'm sure that's how I felt at that moment. I reached over...