OOOOh my goodnessssss! Its been forever since I been in here.....I’ve been busy!!! Didn’t realized how fast the time had gone. So lets see what I been up to lately??????? hmmmm......Nothing. LoL. Absolutely nothing! Isnt that sad? Lol No life and nothing new, but busy as a bee?......I been getting my life together and I know it’s a mess right now, but in time I know things will fall perfectly into its own place. So I been occupied with my messy life...... anyways.... I just wanted to vent a little here.......

....

So thanksgiving was technically over last night at the Su Kwan— it was a week long event. I hosted two other thanksgiving dinners within this past week. I still have two weddings to attend, a few birthdays left; the hmong new year to look forward to and my trip to Fresno to visit my sister. All this and more til the year ends...

Okay, so it’s been a month and some odd weeks now, since the “big” break up. I have so much time for myself now. That’s how I stumbled across Hmongpride, I thought I would blog about some very personal things in my life. But I haven’t had the courage to do so, Im just not ready to expose my life issues to the world yet, I guess. Maybe slowly and surely I will.

The best view is right outside my French doors. I can see beyond the horizon, the outline of the highest buildings, the sun setting, the valleys, the ocean, the edge of town, and the lighthouse which seems to be the only thing clinging onto the cliff of this out-stretched strip of land, beyond the eye can see.

So I watched Paranormal Activity and what caught my attention first was the fact that this was filmed in Rancho Peñasquitos, San Diego. I live less than a few minutes from there and yeah, I actually thought the movie was real. It is real. I know the movie itself is entirely made up; but the majority of the movie is based on real life events.

I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm. It was 5 am. Thursday, trash day. Every Thursday was the same as the Thursday before. Up 45 minutes earlier so I can take the trash out. Clean out everything and throw what I need to throw. It always starts in the kitchen, than the bathrooms…than moving my way upstairs. This morning I had to clean up the fridge. It’s been two weeks since I threw anything out. So there was a funny imminent smell coming from there. I must say, I probably spend a lot less eating out than I do shopping. Half the foods get thrown out anyways.

Whew! I just did my taxes, sign the **** and fax them off. What a huge relief to finally get this out of the way. I’ll admit, it was due to a lack of organization. Thanks for burning up my voicemail, with your constant nagging &bitchin otherwise I would of not even have the patience to get done. Deadline was on the 10th. I already know I won’t be getting anything back, and still owe money, which means no vacation. 

I had the most terrifying dream this morning. I woke up frightened to death. It was 2:18 am when I looked over at the clock. I wanted to reach over and turn the TV on, maybe the lights-- if I was bold enough? But I was way too scared. What if she was still looming in my room, what if she jumps out from the dimness of the night—to scare me once more? The dream was so clear, it felt so real; her eyes piercing and deep, her Asian skin wrinkled and pale. Pointing at me telling me she was my mother. And I, screaming at her saying that she was wrong, as she inched closer and closer to me.

I signed myself up on hmong pride last night because I had wanted to blog and here I sit with nothing coming in my head. I was sick last month, gotter better and then caught the flu again. So I been pretty bummed out and in bed. The weather has been pretty gloomy and I only wished it would rain. At least for oneday. The news said it will, but it hasnt.

A nice bowl of soup sounds really good right now. Heck, maybe I should stay off the computer and make myself somethin' to eat before I head to bed...