I know what 'chu been sayin' bout me.
Shooot.
Just 'cause I ain't here that often no more don't mean you gotta start talkin' some of that sh!t 'bout me.
Cheeez.
Just 'cause I don't come on that much anymore don't mean I got a booty call goin' on.
Dang.
Y'all so assuming of things!
CHILL YO!

For one, I lost internet at home.
For two, I was out of state right after school for two weeks.
For three, I was gone this past weekend.
For four, summer school has started.

-_____-''

It’s been a few days. Kind of feels like I haven’t been on HP for a while, even though it’s probably only been like, a week or two. Lol, maybe not even two weeks. Cyn told me not much is going on. Haha. I remember she wrote Sins [Enslaved] was being a flirt with everyone, and Lue was just being Lue. I imagined that in my mind at the point, oh how easy it was to imagine it. Hahah. I think that that’s a sign that I’ve been on HP too long now…and I’ve only been here since Fall of 2009.

Love's Secret

NEVER seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind doth move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! she did depart!

Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.

-William Blake

One of my favorite poets.

Hi. I've a message from Erica.

She told me to tell you guys that she's feeling kinda sick right now, so she won't be on again for a while.

I hope she's feeling better already. LOL.

So. I was looking around FB and I clicked on some links that other people had linked.

I found two that were just.....
o . O

Know what I mean?

This first one here....
Yeah.
Just watch.

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhTFM3iHEm8xEUmerY

Solly, I don't know how to embed it. The embedding code the link gives doesn't work here. And it isn't from Youtube. So click and watch.

Lol. I got into the chatroom just a while ago.
Hamilton, Rawr, and Enslaved greeted me in.
And then HmongBoi told me that Kassie called him/her stupid, and for me to tell Kassie to say sorry. Haha.
I said I couldn't do that because I agreed with Kassie....but I don't know if he read that. o.O
He got kicked out.
I'm not sure if it was him, especially, or HP's glitch, if he were to attempt to PC someone.

But yeah...that happened several times. Hrm.

And then I got kicked. Lol.
And as I tried to go back in...the page died on me.
So I killed the page.

o.O

Dear My Male Valentine,

I have school tomorrow. Otherwise, I would stay up and wait for you to appear in HP's chatroom. But it is nearing eleven o'clock, and I need to get some sleep. I'm sorry I suck as a Valentine. Perhaps next year, your Valentine will be better. If I could, I'd stay up to game with you, the usual game we play. If you want, you can ask if Lue would like to play. He's become quite fond of the game since it was introduced to him.

Hello. I'm sorry I missed you on MSN. I was still sleeping. Hahah, I write this at about three in the afternoon. I was up quite late last night, so forgive me for not being there on MSN when you had finally got on. You know, those times that you are on MSN are so RARE. Lol. And then when you DO happen to come on, I'm not on, I'm away or busy or just plain not on!

Talk about bad timing much huh?

Lol, I'm kidding.

Anyway, I did get the message. =)

And who knows when I'll see or talk to you again. So....here I am.

Hahahahah. So. Tonight. Or early morning, whatever you want to call it, as I glanced back into HP to see what was up, I saw one of the old users just leaving. And then one of the old users that don’t really come onto HP, HA….he said pretty much one of the most...

Here. Let me recap instead.

Girl leaves.
Guy says he has nude pictures of her.
I go o.O
He laughs and says he has a video too.
I go o.O again.
He laughs, again, and says something along the lines of “Hey, I’m a nice guy”

Ok. I lied. Easier said than done.

Hm. Let’s see. How can I start this out.

Hrm..well...a few nights ago, I had a series of dreams. I’m not completely sure what my mind was thinking...why my subconscious would allow me to see what I saw, felt what I felt, endured what I endured. I still question a little bit of it...but hey, it’s my own mind. Lol. So I guess I can’t say much to that end. It is what it is...

School starts tomorrow.
I've been up since about six this morning. And I didn't even go to bed until what, one?
What a bish.

What the hell.
You're not here when I think I need you.
You're here when I don't need you.
You're not here when I miss you.
You're not here even when I don't miss you.
What the hell is up with that.
Can you just pick one and damn well stick with it PLEASE?!
I'm tired of ****ing going back and forth between this ****.
My head hurts.
My body hurts.
My heart hurts.
My eyes hurt.
My ears hurt.
My freakin' mind hurts.
My damned iron level is low.

Dammit!! I just realized! I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. It must have happened when my laptop crashed....and when my uncle tried to recover it all, it wasn’t able to recover.......That is just really annoying.

It may have been....a darker point of life, but it was still a part of my life and of what happened. And I’d really like it if I could have that back. No matter what happened that night, at least I was still able to read about it....how it happened, WHY it happened.

I hate myself for losing it.

So I have an issue. Yes, I am aware that I have ALOT of issues. But I’m betting you do too.

My issue for this topic is HOW LOW WILL YOU GO? I’m not completely sure of who my readers are today, or who will tell others what they read, and say that someone named KC from HP wrote it; therefore, I’m debating how much information I should put in this blog tonight.

Or how much I should leave out.

So I got a chain forward text thingy from Kathie. And I thought I'd share it with you. Wanted to get some opinions. I'm not sure if they're all true or not. I know that for myself, some of them really aren't true..but hey, what can I say, we'll all supposedly different, right?

So, thanks for reading.
Lemme read your thoughts.

So, I've one question for you.

If you could answer honestly, that'd be great.

If you're not going to answer honestly, I'd rather you not answer at all.

I thought about putting this as a poll, but I'm not sure how the new polls rotate, or how long they stay there. So I'm going to post my question as a blog here.

Comment as you see fit, like usual.

You only have one choice, and there is no going back if you should choose one. And there is only ONE you. LoL.

Thanks for answering. =)

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be thinking too much. It's something that happens on the daily, you know that and I KNOW THAT. So why can't I stop thinking about it? I wish I could turn off this part of my mind--it just goes on too much and for too long. I've been thinking about it since pretty much last night. And so I couldn't help but think maybe something went wrong. But I honestly, really, truly have no idea. But do I want to know? I don't know either.

I thought I was going to blog last night. But I forgot.
These next two entries, I wrote a few days ago. But as I kept going back on my thoughts and reading what I wrote, I figured something. And I'd like your input, if you don't mind.
Thanks, in advance, for reading.

I came to the window to log into the chatroom, and at the side of the little SN input window, I saw this.

Wiish, don't go. =|

Hi Wiish.
I'm sorry os Wiish.
For what I said yesterday.
Or was it the day before yesterday...I can't remember. Lame much.

Anyway. Yeah. I do apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it quite that way. I'm short tempered heev, so I said what came to mind.
If I offended you or made you upset in any way, shape, or form, I am sorry.

I like talking to you though. =)

Damn youS whoeverS youS may beS!

I've no idea if it's ONE person doing it or more than one.
I don't care if it's one or more than one.
Just stop it.
Stop mass kudo'ing me!
Dang.
Cheez.
Chill yo.

I mean YOU. Not me. -_-'

So last night when I was on, I was only on seven kudos.
I come on this afternoon, and had twelve. -______-''
What the heck happened?

It's not that I don't..appreciate..them. But I want to [at least] know who gave them to me. -___-''
And we cannot see that here.
Or if we can, I can't find it.

Admin, can you make it so that we can see who Kudo'd us, please?

Hrm..there was something else I wanted to add in here..but my mind's gone blank on that. Haha. Lame much.

I remember now.

Karma.

So I’m curious. What’s it like to get hate mail?
I know that there are usually reasons for getting them.
But I also know that there are just the people who don’t seem to like you for no reason whatsoever, and then when you find out why, you just kinda go ... ... ... ... are you serious? Like, seriously serious?
Haha, those make me chuckle.
Anyway. Lol.

So. Give me tips on how to write hate mail.
I know I’d have to find someone whom I really really really really dislike and may hate first. But that’s yet to come.

Give me an example?

Write me one. Right here. =)

There's so much I want to say. And there's no way to say them at all. They all contradict each other. And in times, I find myself contradicting.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. There's been so much done already. And I thought that my part was done already. Done and gone by. Past, no more.
What a fool I was. I lied to myself. Told myself that my part was done. Spontaneous recovery of such things comes and hits me from time to time again.
Such as last night.
Such as now.
I laugh and I cry with it.
Such bittersweet endings. Such bittersweet memories. Such bittersweet emotions.

One evening, I was in TC, sitting in there, but not paying attention. In comes this person, I've no idea who he/she is nor have I seen their SN in there before. This is what happened.

[19:19] deathjam: its so dead...
[19:19] deathjam: o.O
[19:19] randomstuff: Then leave to other room?
[19:19] deathjam: lmaoo...
[19:19] deathjam: but im waiting for someone in here?!!!
[19:19] randomstuff: then wait, i guess
[19:19] deathjam: i told him to come here
[19:19] deathjam: sheesh....
[19:20] deathjam: um ok w/e
[19:20] deathjam: bleh...bish
[19:21] randomstuff: Ok..

I’ve had this dream several times already, always a slightly different version than from last time, but it always ends up the same and at the same place.

It’s always with this guy…I can’t see his face, but my dream self never bothers to even attempt looking at his face, like she knows who he is already.

OHMY****INGDAMNS
So I'm trying to do my homework at the moment.
And my mind isn't freakin concentrating.
Or.
There isn't anydamnthing in my mind to concentrate on.
**** it.
My friend called earlier to remind me bout it.
Good thing he did, cause I totally forgot bout it.
And then I pull out the **** from my bag and pull up word document on my laptop.
And my ****ing mind ****ing decides to ****ing stop ****ing work on me. Hell. Like I need it to be blocked NOW.
****. Why can't it be blocked AFTER I finish my damn paper.

Ok, so you guys know how sometimes when we type, we write things like "Kuv mus lawm os" or "Kuv nyiam koj os" [courtesy of LovelyMary] or "It's so cold today os" [courtesy of LovelyMary] or "KC nyob zoo os" [courtesy of N] and we tend to tag that "os" at the end of the sentence?

When someone asks you to explain that "os" to them, how do you explain it? I asked that in chat this morning, and I got a reply of "duh", but LovelyMary disagreed. I too disagree. But we could not think of a way to explain the use of "os" to someone who does not use it.