oh yes! FINALLY a woman who shares the same idea as me! Most of the girls i have talked too say they are marrying the guy, and not the family. I just shake my head and realized that there is no way she will see my point of view.

I agree, most of the new Nyab do that and its one quite annoying.

Puahaha! Funny thought. I'll keep quiet about this matter.

oooooooooo

ya hear that lil ladies? i guess not....

A "nyab" like that would get her ass kicked to the curb. I'd drag her onto the street by the hair and make her bite the edge of the cement curb with her mouth. Then i'd ask her if she's seen the movie American History X. Then I will ask her nicely if she don't change her attitude and ways, the bottom of my feet is going to be planted on the back of her head and she's going to eat the curb. Guaranteed she's gong to have a change of attitude or she won't have any teeth to be smiling with to look pretty anymore. HAHA.

hellboy: LMAO! Thanks for the warning. I'll make sure to warn every one of your girls in the future.

Got that same issue at home. And it's vice versa.

A guy who gets married should be practical in who he chooses as a wife, why would you want to get married to someone just to ignore them? A man who gets married should be able to stand up to his wife because they should stand on the same page as modern day Hmong. And in doing so they should also be able to stand up to their family and remind them not to be such pushovers.

Nice thread.. =D

wow!!!
honestly, why is that women gotta pick on their own kind?
remember that u will be a nyab one day too. please do not judge a nyab when u are not one yet. be open-minded. and things change once u actually marry into a family.
wow.. people these days..

Ummm. Here's my two cents.

First of all, who says you aren't accepting the family just because you're not being the perfect obedient nyab? So that means if you are a rebellious daughter in your family, you aren't accepting your own family too then?

Just keep in mind that no one is perfect. I don't think you have the right to even judge any nyab. Some day you will walk those same footsteps too. I know you aren't going to be all happy about how his family will be treating you. In reality, no one treats you as good as your own flesh and blood. There's going to be something that will make you want to speak out about. And if you HATE nyabs who talk like this and that, then you better keep your mouth shut if you are going to be the replication of the so called "perfect" nyab. It's a shame. Real shame.

"I'm only marrying him NOT his family so why should I do what they said?"

i actually like that phrase, LOLS. sorry but i do. Although i am not a married woman, i understand why married Hmong women say that. lol i mean, at least i think i do.

i guess we single people will never understand until we are married!!

Well i think it's okay to say that because some nyab that i know, their in-laws don't like them for whatever reason. And at the same time they bare with it & they careless to what the in-laws have to say because obviously they are not marrying the family but the son. So why, care. Its very understandable depending on the situation to why a nyab will say that if their in-law didn't like them. but if the in-laws did then the nyab is just pain in the ass! hehe

Honestly, I myself will not hesitate to say, "I'm only marrying him NOT his family," depending on the situation. **knocking on wood** LOLS

And Hmong guys with no balls, who can't stand up for themselves but let their wife speak for them. And the "I am your wife! You either choose me or your family!" That's a whole different story. Very understandable, some nyab are like that. "you pick me or your family," iono..only ignorant people will say that.

choose wisely before you marry any bitch!!!! but any bitch with a pussy can mostly likely control anymale. lol

I honestly agreed with you. I really hate nyab[s] that are disrespectful to her in-laws; literally lied in their faces. Ignorant and rude! Especially those lazy ones that would sleep all day until they go to work or wants to go out. Get your lazy ass up and watch your darn child! What irritates me is those nyab who goes around talking nonsense, lies, and other craps in town; at work, her parent's house, the whole town. Keep your mouth shut and just keep your personal life at home. Seriously, who goes around talking crap about their own husband and in-laws? Only the evil bitches do! I live in Arkansas and in a small town and that nyab I'm talking about is my cousin's wife. They were married at a young age, loved each other, then the wife cheated but denied. There were witnesses that proved her wrong. It's a good thing they're not together anymore. The nyab mistreated her parents-in-law really bad when they loved her so much. But you know, karma's a bitch, they'll get their hell time soon.

There's postive and negative comments in your thread.

If a girl do marry a guy. Shes married to him. Not his family.
Later on in life its him who shes with. Not his family. They're just there to support and give advices. Its not that the elders DONT matter. Its just that its YOUR life. The elders DO matter too. But when it comes to marriage..Its usually just between him and her.

When the guy becomes the "wife" in the relationship. Some guys do that because they love their wife too much. They choose to listen to her. There's nothing wrong with loving someone soo much that they choose to listen and follow directions. But on the other hand. If thats the case. The girl needs to not be such a h0e and she needs to know what shes doing. And if she was to somehow become the "man" in the relationship. She needs to get her acts straight. And not to just fool around like them little girls now days. That just wants attention. I believe that in a marriage life. It should evenly be equaled to men and women.

BTW. Becoming a Nyab is scary as hell O.O

Too much drama...different situations call for different measures to be taken at hand. Nyab or not, when a woman marries, she'll know what her duties are to her husbands family and to hers.

Hmm.....usually the ones who say they married their husbands only and not their husbands families are women of this era....hahahhaha hmonglish women. Anyway, I'm ending it here.

It's a psychological matter. Men who loves their women too much will eventually be slaves. Men who doesn't love their women to the core will eventually make women the slaves.

i pay no respect to those nyabs. MUAHAHHHA.

"I've never been a 'nyab' before but that doesn't mean I don't know anything."

It does mean, you don't know anything because you are only saying what you know from a single-girl's perspective.

Married life is hard, especially when you are married into a family that the in-laws do not like you. So wait until you are married, you will understand why married Hmong girl's say that and maybe you can come back in here and let us know, if you change your mind about not phrase or not.

hey have u seen those hmong movies where the husband or in laws are juz being plain jerks and takes advantage of the daughter in law/wife? i bet u would be just like those girls. juz keep quiet...and cry all alone to yourself at night while u slave during the day. not to say it would be to that extent, but u get the point. but that would be u IF u stand by ur beliefs and values, where u would be always obedient, well-mannered at all times and never complain about anything. so i guess that WOULD be u.

and on the other end, theres the other movies where the daughter in law is such a lazy and coniving bitch who probably batters her husband and in laws all day long. ur making it look like if females dont agree with ur view, then theyre automatically labeled as or to be the bitchy daughter in laws. riiiiiiiiiiiiite...

so i agree with the ppl who disagreed with u i was juz merely painting a visual picture w/my comment. theyve already said all that ive wanted to say

Too much reading. xD

In short, I agree with what you said. BUT! I shall say that it is different once you become a nyab, not that i've been one. And sometimes, what choice does any women have if they're force to get married? That's true they should've been more careful, but in truth, who have the upper hand in any physical manner? The mens. To add with that, it's true that the nyab should respect her new family, but at the same time they should respect her. Her values and beliefs are not the same as theirs therefore it's not her fault if she doesn't know their ways. Take for example making peppers. In her house, peppers were made with peppers, salt and/or msg. In his house, peppers were made with peppers, salt, lemon or lime and/or msg. And lastly, the nyab must understand that she's becoming a nyab, she's not becoming an independent model. -.-" It's freakin' annoying when those nyabs think they're no longer in their parents house makes them independent and dress even the more skankier 'cause they're married to their husband. Gah.