Hello folks. The name is ChickenFeet. I can’t remember why I decided to choose this particular name to represent me but since I’m stuck with it, I guess it’ll just have to do. Anyway I don’t read much of the blogs on here but as I was logging into chat today I decided to click on the forum and encountered Poma’s recent sentimental blog about marriage. Poma mentioned a little about the frustration of age and how his family is constantly asking him to seek a wife before he becomes too ancient.

After reading his blog, I couldn’t help but reflect on some of the things that he noted in his writing. I’m 24. Single and the thought of marriage at the moment seems quiet afar. I guess growing up I’ve been embedded with the idea that getting marry too early is a bad thing. I watched my cousins and girlfriends become wives and mothers at alarming young ages. My mother was married at the age of 15 and had her first child at sixteen. Some of my high school friends eventually took the same route and it seems to me that they have to work extra hard to make happiness a reality. How these people can build a lifelong relationship is a puzzle to me. Anyway, the story of my mother and many other Hmong women who got married at an early age is one of horror. I don’t want to be one of them. I strongly believe that getting married will prevent me from doing all the things that I want to do. Why bother with extra responsibilities that come with marriage when you can live a single carefree life?

Poma thinks it’s hard for him to be a little older and still be single. For a Hmong woman, I think things are a lot more complicated. In a Hmong family, at least when we talk of boys, we discuss of their careers, but in case of girls, we talk about their marriage. Perhaps this is why some Hmong women are rushing into marriage. They think marriage is a duty. To my understanding, part of the pressure not only comes from parents and relatives but by the sense of insecurity that comes with age. Many Hmong girls are afraid of being "old maids". I don’t plan on getting married until I’m in my early 30’s. Call me an Old Maid if you must. I still have much to learn and much to live for. Committing my life to my husband until death due as part just seems so restricted.

Hopefully those who are in a position where they feel that they must wed soon because of their age will reconsider their options.