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User Created Poll
how are you like while you're with you're significant other's family?
shy
50%
dislike them
4%
comfortable
21%
talkative
14%
simply just stay away
4%
other/s
7%
Total votes: 28
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Need Advice!
December 9, 2009 - 11:17am
It's kinda of weird putting by personal feeling on a blog where anyone can view it and I debated it with my self for a couple of hours, but since no ones true identity are know since it's the net, I thought I'd try it. My gf died a couple years ago. She was a cancer survivor and cherished everything about anything. She died from a crash a couple days after my b-day in June. So it's kinda recent I guess. Of course everyday that goes by I'm reminded of her since we spent every bit of our time together. I tried moving on, but it hurts real bad. Should I give it more time or just give up on finding someone. Of course my feelings goes deeper than this, but I think I've said more then I should. Any comment or advice will be appreciated. O yea and if you happen to be an ass who will make fun of my dead gf, worse it gets is me breaking my computer since I can't break your face instead. Hopefully everyone here is mature enough to take it seriously and if you can't say anything good then don't bother too.
December 9, 2009 - 1:15pm
#2
Death is hard to accept.
It always feels as if the person is off on a long vacation.
I'm assuming you're still at a young age, perhaps 20ish?
You'll get over it eventually. Don't rush yourself into trying to meet new people or starting relationships, but don't dwell in the past.
It's normal to mourn for her and in most cases, it takes almost about a year to two years to fully accept the fact that she's not coming back and move on. You just need time.
If you happen to meet someone along the way, then let things be how it is.
December 9, 2009 - 2:02pm
#3
agree with Jay and EC(aka Karen..)
i know it's very hard to accept the death of a love one..like Jay mention in his post,,time will heal...let other come into your life...i'm sure she want to see you happy...don't make it hard on her because she need to move on too...she won't move on if she see you sad every day...i believe in spirit/ghost... 
December 10, 2009 - 10:09am
#4
thanks EC Jay and Enigma for the advice...actually I'm only 17 and my girlfriend was 21...I'll think about what you said and just let time heal the situation. About dating other girls it's not really on my mind right now, well see what happens in after Christmas and new years.
December 10, 2009 - 1:12pm
#5
Whoa and older chick! High five dude! 
And you are welcome
December 10, 2009 - 10:51am
#6
It's not a story and weather or not you believe it is up to you. Thanks a lot for your advice, although I don’t believe in Buddha, as long as he doesn’t take anyone away from me for a awhile that’d be great.
December 14, 2009 - 6:07pm
#7
WOW. Im sorry to hear.
I know its hard to move on when it wasnt neither you or her decision to leave; it was nature that took her life, ending your relationship. Its esp hard if it just happened recently. Takes time. It might sound cruel, but when time rolls in, you wont feel the pain as much, and you can move on. You cant do much other than to wait.
December 15, 2009 - 10:58am
#8
thanks for the comment...I find myself waiting everyday...what for?...I'm not sure.
December 15, 2009 - 8:45pm
#9
I mean no disrespect, but ur story isn't checking out. You said your gf "died a couple years back", but also said she "died in June, so it's kinda recent." I'm just a little lost as to how long it has been since she passed away.
December 16, 2009 - 9:45am
#10
Firstly it's not a story it's a real life experience of mine maybe a bit too real. But weather you believe it is up to you. I don't think I mention anything about a couple years back, when you find where I post it tell me so I can correct myself. Yes she only died recently this past June.
December 16, 2009 - 11:17am
#11
yang25 wrote:
My gf died a couple years ago. She was a cancer survivor and cherished everything about anything. She died from a crash a couple days after my b-day in June. So it's kinda recent I guess.
December 17, 2009 - 9:56am
#12
lol I guess I didn't read it over. But yea she only died this past June.
December 19, 2009 - 12:54pm
#13
I think he meant "A couple of months"
But sorry for your loss.
It takes time and you're still young so you'll eventually find someone who will love you more.
And she will be happy to see that you're living your life and not go into depression cause of her.
So smile and continue living for her too. =] liiFe
December 22, 2009 - 1:35pm
#14
thanks life for the correction...yea I'm only 17 so I still got a couple years to kill either by myself or with someone special.
December 19, 2009 - 5:29pm
#15
u know a couple of years can still be very new to some ppl. time can never really heal the pain...BUT u shuld move on already. realistically, its not like a breakup where u can get back together. so stop holding yourself back and start enjoying life!!!
i have a feeling u gyz didnt date that long anyway. so dont let guilt hold u back. do whats good for u. do what makes u FEEL happy, not what u THINK will make u happy 
December 22, 2009 - 1:41pm
#16
although it was only a couple months ago...I do agree so people see a few years as such a short time...She was 4 years older than me and she knew me since I was born...childhood friends like brother and sister then we moved on to good friends and eventually we started dating. It was 17 years of the most precious joy and cherished memories to me. I think it'll take at least that many years or more to totally forget the pain, but it's not like she broke up with me like you said. Thanks for the advice I'll do what makes me happy.
December 21, 2009 - 8:59am
#17
Dear Yang25,
Death will never be an easy thing to handle.
It is a force in which we humans have no control in.
And so, we must control ourselves from letting 'death' get the best of us. By that, although it is natural and expected that you're mourning over the death of a cherished loved one, do not dwell in the negatives and live more in the positives!
Be appreciative that she was part of your life. Be glad you were there for her through her last days, weeks, months, etc of living with cancer.
Don't force yourself to move on. Perhaps you're feeling lonely and hopeless. Still, what you really need is time.
Ocupy yourself with activities to help you relieve some of that stress and grief. It's okay to cry and it's okay to be down sometimes, but don't let sadness control the rest of your life.
By finally accepting the death, you'll be able to move on with not necessarily a new lover but with life.
I hope you can overcome this barrier hindering you from your next step in life.
With sincere sympathy,
Smailee Vang
December 22, 2009 - 1:47pm
#18
Thanks very much Smailee that was very encouraging and kind. I won't force myself to do anything I'll let time help my wound like the advice I've been getting from a lot of users on Hp. It's the family like atmosphere we have here at Hp that we have a lot of mature and sincere family members like you. I know that one day I will accept the fact that she won't come back and when I do I think I will be able to take those small steps to getting my life back on track.
December 21, 2009 - 2:27pm
#19
Is it just me or does this story sound like a Korean drama? Cancer survivor/died a few days after my birthday. Ah, if only my lovers could have died also. Maybe then, I wouldn't hold such animosity towards 'em.
December 22, 2009 - 1:54pm
#20
lol I'm not sure if I should be offended by your comment or not, but that's your opinion. I agree now that I think of it, it does sound like some kind of drama. But in those drama the actors and actress don't really die do they. Sometimes I wish reality can be some sort of fantasy like movie stunts. Thanks for the comment, but when you get a chance please look at this from a reality point of view, there's many people around the world losing loved on from cancer. I just wanna clearfiy that she didn't die from cancer a few days after my birthday. She died from a car wreack although she was a cancer patient and because she did have blood cancer they couldn't just give her blood and hope she'll better.
December 21, 2009 - 2:42pm
#21
i suggest that you forget her and move on with your life. im sure the GF is up there in better place and she surely want you to be happy.
good luck, if you find any hot one with with sister then let me know, im in need of a backup mate.
December 22, 2009 - 8:49am
#22
Awww, is STFU showing some sympathy towards someone? This is the first time I've seen you give a real heartfelt comment.
Of course you add that retarded sister at the end about the hot sister...but still...I'm proud of you! *highfive.
=) LOL.
December 22, 2009 - 1:58pm
#23
Thanks a lot STFU, this is the one comment you've actually put some thought into and I really appreciate it. Although at the end you did go out on a limb to ask about the sister...I'm sorry but right now I'm mourning and not ready yet to take that step.
December 21, 2009 - 5:18pm
#24
Ah....they've said it all up there already....so I'ma just reiterate....
If she loved you like you love her, then she'll want you to be happy. Life isn't the same without the one you love, but when you think about it, life is never quite the same twice around. There will always be life challenges....this may be one of them. Keep living, if not for her, then for yourself. The people who went through life with you is hard to really forget....so you never really forget them, even if you wished to hellven that you could. So....move on. You don't need to erase anything of the past, but you can take some of those memories and bring it with you to where you are now and where you will be going. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying bring it up so others will be "locked" away from you, I'm saying use your memories to help you and others keep going. This is life. You only live it once. What happens happens. Sometimes for no reason at all. Let time wash by. See what happens.
December 22, 2009 - 2:02pm
#25
Even though other members already said it, I thank you for taking the time to comment on this. Like you said I will keep my past memories and cherish them to keep me going and to make new memories. Thanks a lot Karen.
December 22, 2009 - 10:12pm
#26
Sometimes memories are all we have left of that person. It's a reminder for us to keep making new memories. So I'm glad that you're gonna take the memories that you have with you now into whatever may happen to you after this. And don't mention it....this is what the HP family is for, no?
January 4, 2010 - 11:16am
#27
Hp family...love you guys...And thank you karen, your very sweet, any guy that gets you is very lucky.
January 4, 2010 - 3:47pm
#31
Yo, yang. =[
Sorry that you've lost her GF.
January 5, 2010 - 10:12am
#32
Thanks alot Patty.
January 5, 2010 - 8:55am
#33
ok first of all I'm srry to hear that but my opinion, move on she ain't coming bak and u have notiing else to lose man... wat you lose is something you gain... I think that's how the saying goes? but dang... I don't really no how I'd feel too u no but there's only One thing to do. I guess the only thing I can say is I don't no how it feels so iono??? Aha I'm no help...
January 5, 2010 - 10:11am
#34
thanks alot for your words. It's great that you don't know how it feels and I hope it stays that way. This feeling is something you never want to feel.
January 18, 2010 - 4:59pm
#35
Read comment below.
January 15, 2010 - 1:59pm
#36
Well, I guess everyone covered it already. But yeah, I would have to agree on most. I didn't read everything, I only read till EC's post...I think. xD Anyways yea, I'm sure she wants you to move on. I know it's hard, but don't linger in the past, it's just gonna hurt you more. You should remember, but don't relive. I'm pretty sure someone will come your way. Someone told me that it's ok to lose someone or something, it just means that someone or something better is coming your way.
January 22, 2010 - 7:57am
#37
Thanks KB, I'm sure she wants me to move on too, but I hope she can wait awhile longer until she sends someone special my way. I still need time.
Dude, think about it, shes gone and she would want to see you happy. She dont wanna know the man she loves is in pain everyday. She will always be a part of you. She will always be someone you love and care for. It just takes time to let go of someone you really cared about. She dont rush yourself. Time will heal. Be strong and let others come into your life and help you move on. Dont give up on girls.
jayv.