Bite that breast!

Queenieyaj's picture

An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $1,000?"
"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for
$ 10,000?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

The nightmare B-day gift

Queenieyaj's picture

Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.
At the club -
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you? ?
WIFE: How does he know you? ?
JIM: We play Golf together!
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim? ?
WIFE: And how does he know you? ?
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim? ??
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? ?

Old cock vs young cock

Queenieyaj's picture

A farmer raised 25 young hens and one old cock.

As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock:
"Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock: What you mean? As far as I know, you are old & should be retired.

Old cock : Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

The priest

Queenieyaj's picture

Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest : "What have you done my child?"

Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest : "Why did you call him a son of a
bitch?"

Girl : "Because he touched my hand."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl : "Then he touched my breast."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

The 4 nuns

Queenieyaj's picture

4 nuns die and went to heaven. When they arrive at the golden gates St. Peter is there to greet them. St. Peter explains to the nuns that before they pass through to heaven they each have to answer the same question truthfully. the first nun steps up and St. Peter asks her,"have you been in contact with a man's willy?" the nun, ashamed, replies, "yes, i once saw a man's willy" St. Peter tells her to wash her eyes out with holy water and pass on to heaven, she does. the second nun steps up and St. Peter asks her the same question, she replies, "yes i once stroked a man's willy" St.

Little Johnny

Queenieyaj's picture

Little Johnnys' parents are divorced. One day, little Johnny walked by his mom's room and peeked inside. He saw his mom naked and rubbing herself, saying "oh, I need a man, I need a man." A few days later little Johnny peeked inside his mom's room again and to his surprise there was a naked man with his mom in bed. So little Johnny went back to his room, took off all his clothes, started rubbing himself and saying "oh, I need a bike, I need a bike."

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