Sex with a ghost?

Queenieyaj's picture

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’
About 40 students raise their hands.
That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’

The man with two assholes.

Queenieyaj's picture

A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned that somebody would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George's two friends, Joe and Al.

Joe: "He's burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him over." Joe looked at the dead man's buttocks and said, "Nope, that ain't George."

Thinking the incident strange, the mortician straightened up the body and said nothing. He brought in Al.

Al: "Wow, he's burnt to a crisp. Roll him over." Again, "Nope, that ain't George."

The hunter

Queenieyaj's picture

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin.

Bite that breast!

Queenieyaj's picture

An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $1,000?"
"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for
$ 10,000?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

The nightmare B-day gift

Queenieyaj's picture

Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.
At the club -
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you? ?
WIFE: How does he know you? ?
JIM: We play Golf together!
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim? ?
WIFE: And how does he know you? ?
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim? ??
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? ?

Old cock vs young cock

Queenieyaj's picture

A farmer raised 25 young hens and one old cock.

As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock:
"Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock: What you mean? As far as I know, you are old & should be retired.

Old cock : Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

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